Ugh.

I often ask myself why I do terrible things to my body.  I am educated enough to know what is good for me and what it bad for me.  I know that when I eat well I feel more energetic and sexy and my runs are always a lot better.  After a really crappy run 6 weeks ago I got pretty strict with my eating habits to make sure that I had the right amounts and type of energy for my runs.  Since then my runs have been easier and I feel like I've had more energy.  Overall, I've felt a lot better. 

I feel like I am now backtracking again.  The other day a firm I desperately want to work for invited me down for an interview.  I decided this was cause for celebration and therefore threw all nutritional cares out the window for the night.  And the next night.  And this morning.  Ugh.  My whole body feels like crap.  I am lathargic and feel utterly gross.  The thing is once I made the decision to "celebrate" on the one night it just carried over and all of a sudden I found myself making really crappy decisions again and again.  Its like I didn't even realize I was doing it until I had the pumpkin bread (or beer, or fried pickes) in front of me and took my first bite.  Ugh.  I feel disgusted. 

This all leads me to wonder why it is that I continued to make poor decisions.  I felt like crap after the first night, you'd think I'd smarten up but I didn't.  Why is this?  I had to wait until I felt so nasty that the thought of food (even healthy food) just grosses me out.  That happened today. 

It almost seems like one poor choice leads to another.  Like, having that extra drink while out with friends will lead to munchies and thus some grazing on some fried things, desserts, chips, etc.  Skipping a run thinking that you'll make it up another day and you don't.  Its like, "well I already screwed up, guess it doesn't matter anymore."  Its this type of mentality that I think causes a lot of Americans to be disgustingly unhealthy.

I don't like falling prey to the mentality that one lazy act leads to another or that one poor choice leads to another.  Yet, I have done just that.  Maybe being aware of it will ward off a resurfacing of this particular aliment.  Especially since I know how terrible I feel after I eat like shit and how great I feel when I run and eat healthy I can defend myself against this plague of nastiness.  Now, 2.5 bad days are not going to ruin a month of good work...I just can't make excuses.  If I want to celebrate, one extra glass of wine will just need to be enough.