My first week back in Lubbock has been quite a learning experience. Last Monday I began work for the Legal Aid Society of Lubbock as a staff attorney. The primary source of cases that the organization takes are family law, mostly divorces and protective orders. One thing I was warned about was making sure I had an outlet for frustration since legal aid is involved in a lot of domestic violence cases. I was told it can be a pretty emotionally taxing job listening to the stories and seeing some women come in with bruises and other injuries. At the time, I could imagine that being difficult to see and hear.
I've been here just over a week now and I wonder if maybe I'm just a completely insensitive person overall. I've listened to 4 client interviews and 1 hearing all having to do with domestic violence. I haven't felt anything very intense yet. Its not always easy to listen to but my role in the whole process is pretty objective and harsh in some ways. I'm there to document the events and get very specific, oftentimes uncomfortable, details. At the time I'm hearing the story I'll cringe now and then hearing certain things but after its over and after the client leaves I feel pretty unaffected. I go home at the end of the day feeling fine about life and go about my evening normally. I almost wonder if something is wrong with me? Wouldn't most women in my position feel like crap after a day of listening to women talk about being beat and/or sexually assaulted by their significant others?
Maybe its healthy not to feel too much. Perhaps in jobs that deal with domestic/family violence and criminal law its best to be a little desensitized. I mean, if I let all those stories get to me and let the stories affect my relationships with men this job would destroy me. Still, I am not entirely convinced that I shouldn't feel at least something. Hmmm...
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