Being Happy and Not-So-Girly

Sometimes I wonder if how I perceive material things is a little odd.  Recently I have been extremely uninterested in most girly things like shopping, clothing, hair, nails, etc.  When I was in Lubbock the last year or two I got my nails done regularly and even did some shopping now and then.  These days, I could really care less.  I'm happy with my plain toe nails and old clothes.  I shop for things because of comfort and convenience.  For example, I want to buy some black flats so I don't have to wear heels to work everyday, not because they're super cute.  I get more excited these days about buying a new pair of running shoes than I do about buying a new blouse...though, I do need to get a few more of those...I have to do laundry way to often these days.  Still, the thought of braving a shopping mall or center just drains me of energy.  I want someone to just do it for me.  And, you know, that method works for me.

I've been wandering though if its had an effect on my personal romantic life.  Even when I dated Matt he once told me that he'd always pictured himself with someone more girly and I wonder if thats not true for most men.  Despite the rather nice progression women have made to equalizing the gender gap I think both sexes still want certain gender stereotype qualities out of their partner.  For example, I still need the guy to make the first move and do the asking-out for the first few times.  Maybe guys just want girls to be, well...a little more girly.  You know, with the painted nails and perfectly done hair.  I guess thats never really been me.  I don't want to go get my toes done and then worry about whether my running shoes will chip them when I go out for my 6-miler tomorrow.  Plus, I can think of so many better things to do with my time.

I wonder if this transition for me is more about happiness.  Honestly, I haven't quite felt this good about my life in at least 2 years.  Now, overall, I'm feeling very secure and happy about the person I've become.  Its who I really want to be and I've been remarkably happy with the way things have unfolded for me over the past year or so.  (Ok, ok, so I went on a date a few weeks ago and felt a little weird about wearing sexy sandals with no toe nail polish and a bruise on my left big toe...but still! The guy asked me out again so its all good...).

Still, I suppose its not fair for me to want a man to, well, be more assertive if I'm going to expect them not to judge me for being a little non-girly.  I suppose I just haven't figured out who likes what.  The men I would think want someone more tomboy-ish have been quite the opposite.  Guess it just goes to show women can be just as clueless about men as they are about us.